My Past Life & karmic Cleanse
In late October of 2018, I finally was ready to visit Chernobyl & Pripyat for the first time after much anticipation since I first learnt of it when I was 10.
Barely into the “Exclusion Zone”, visiting the first village, I remembered my most recent earthly life that began in 1959 in the Outskirts of Moscow, Russia. My name was Nikolai.
The most important and pertinent details of that life were revealed to me during my 30h+ being in the Zone, while a lot more details and gaps were filled in much later on.
As we all know from our “current lifetime” experience and how our memory works, there is always more to be remembered – always another angle to be discovered that we did not perceive while we were actually in the moment.
…
Growing up very poor on farm land that once belonged to Kulaks outside of Moscow and then was re-appropriated to “the rightful heirs of this land, the working class” as per communist ideals, I remembered living through some harsh winters in which food shortages and lack of heating capacity made survival a challenge at times.
Going to school was not always possible, even though state-mandated and obligatory.
While I excelled at school, I had the strong desire to serve in the military once I was able to do so.
Age 14, I left my home to move to Moscow, being an excellent student so far, I received a scholarship to then be prepared for military school.
I loved being in Moscow – the splendor and the grandeur of the Tsar Empire was still alive amidst the Communist rule of centralized Statism.
Because of my inclination towards disobedience and frequent questioning of the Soviet System, my problems began early on.
Age 19-20, I found myself in Military Prison for over 1 year.
To discipline me and to punish me for disorderly conduct with my firearm as well as directly opposing my superiors.
Shortly after I got released from prison, I met my wife Anna who trained as a singer at the State Opera. Just 6 months after meeting her, we decided to get married – she was already pregnant.
She was everything to me and I loved her very honestly.
This remembering of Love was so strong that I, as Dominik in my next life, went to Ukraine 2 times – solely for the purpose of enjoying beautiful women, hoping to find Love.
With my career in the Military being confined to the lower ranks as I had not proven my worth as a good Comrade and loyalist to the Party, I soon was offered re-allocation to the Paramilitary Firefighters.
Since I still always excelled at the tasks I was given as far as skills go (not necessarily following the orders given), I was to be stationed in one of the most prestigious and modern Soviet Projects of its time: Pripyat, Ukraine.
My wife and I, together with our son, decided to accept the opportunity of starting a new life in an exciting, new location.
We moved in 1983, being provided with a nice and modern Soviet apartment in the city of Pripyat – just a few km from the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant.
Life in Pripyat was very peaceful, the city was very young and most inhabitants were formally educated and highly skilled.
Shortly upon moving, Anna was pregnant again – this time with our daughter.
The Cold War had noticeably died down in the 80s, giving more freedom to everyone’s daily life, living without the existential fears we had grown up with in the 60s.
My job was physically challenging yet very rewarding. I made good friends, received many benefits and overall, our life as a young family could not have been any better.
We visited Kyiv and Odesa a few times, as well as other beautiful locations in the Soviet Union such as Lake Balaton.
All was well – until that one day brought it all to an abrupt end.
April 26, 1986: The Day of my karmic Redemption
When I was woken by both the phone ringing and the alarm, I already felt that something was terribly wrong.
I felt the call of duty – which could only mean that there must have been a big fire somewhere.
Once I learnt of where to go, without knowing what had happened, the feeling was overwhelmingly dark.
Knowing that one of the nuclear reactors was on fire, me and my crew of firefighters were geared up and ready to meet the challenge.
Yet we did not know what we were truly about to face.
The smell, the energy, the feeling: Once we arrived, all of it felt very different from any normal fire sight we had put out and trained on in the past.
Without having the time nor the conscience to think about it more, we simply got to work.
Once the fires on the perimeter were extinguished, we closed in on where the reactor was situated.
It then became obvious that this was not just some explosion of gas or an accident turned fire: The entire Power Plant had been blown apart. The roof was missing. And a very weird, metallic taste on our tongues quickly turned into a ringing in our ears. Nausea, Headaches.
We worked in shifts as usual – yet after what must have been about 1h, me and my crew were so exhausted that we could barely finish the task at hand.
Almost losing consciousness at times, we were wondering what kind of fire this was.
A few hours later, I found myself at the local hospital.
Like my colleagues, I had problems with my memory and a burning sensation not only on my skin – as you would expect from being exposed to a fire of that magnitude – it also started to burn within me. A situation I never found myself in before.
My wife came to see me in the early afternoon, looking somewhat proud, somewhat concerned.
At that point, we both had no idea that this would be one of the last moments we would ever get to spend together.
My daughter was 3 years old, my son was about 5.
Agony. Sacrifice. Death.
When the local Hospital ran out of expertise and options to cure the increasing difficulty of symptoms to treat, I – along with many others – was flown to Moscow, to a special clinic that became internationally known as “Hospital 6”.
By the time I got settled into the Hospital, I was already aware that my condition has only gotten worse.
My skin started blistering, my hair fell out, my bones felt strange.
I lost my appetite completely and my already thin figure deteriorated even more.
I was not getting any better. But I was getting worse very quickly.
About 2 Days before I died, my wife came to visit me with my children.
She told me that the government had kept it a secret as much as possible – but that it was a nuclear catastrophe and that even the West had discovered radioactive fallout on their territory.
When we last looked into each other’s eyes, we both knew that this was goodbye.
She had tears in her eyes and was confused, not understanding how and why this all happened. How I went from a healthy and athletic young man to being on my death bed in just a couple of weeks.
But like most Russian-Soviet women of those days, she took it the way she was expected to.
For the Motherland, for the People, for the Community.
There was not much room nor tolerance for moaning and wallowing in sorrow in those days.
I learned that she re-married and that my children grew up to be somewhat healthy and successful participants of the post-Soviet Society.
The Fallout
The Chernobyl Disaster marked the End of the Soviet Union.
The prestige project destroyed, the enormous amounts of manpower and money needed and wasted, modern technology destroyed, as well as the relevation of how rotten and dishonest the very same government was to its people that claimed to always work for them.
While dying, I remember thinking how much I hated the system I grew up in.
The fire that burnt within me was pure hatred for the lies.
The deceit.
The false idealism.
I was about to die for a cause that was lost from the beginning.
A Communist utopia that never truly existed – nor could have existed.
All the other men who were sent into the hellfires of Chernobyl to become Liquidators – 10s of Thousands sacrificed their health and eventually t heir lives (and even that of their children) for a system built upon ignorance and idealistic dogma.
And the Women and families that had to live through the nightmare of their husbands not returning home – or their children being born deformed or debilitated.
That very system ceased to exist just a few years after Chernobyl created Hell on Earth.
I will never forget the green tint and the feeling of slowly falling apart from within – it was the price I paid for my own karmic reasons.
Reincarnating in 1992, I found myself without teeth in 1996, when I was 3 years old. They all rotted away for no apparent reason whatsoever – needing to be pulled out one by one.
About a year or two later, the neighbors’ son served in the “voluntary firefighters”. Even though it was 3x my size, I absolutely needed to try it on – happy as can be when I wore it.
I also made a name for myself in the neighborhood for my excessive use of water throughout spring & summer – sprinkling and watering all plants that I could find.
When I first saw a documentary on Chernobyl on German TV when I was about 10 years old, I was stunned. I had no idea why but I needed to know everything there was to know about the event and radioactivity.
At Age 13, I bought Igor Kostin’s photo book about Chernobyl and studied it for many hours.
When asked which Women I favored, I would quickly resort to saying “Russian/Slavic”.
Finally, I made it to Ukraine in July 2017 on a road trip with friends from Budapest, where I lived at the time.
First driving through the stuck-in-Soviet-Times Transnistria, waiting at the border to Ukraine to go to Odessa, I started feeling ill.
We had to wait about 1h until our passage was granted.
The longer we waited, the sicker I got.
We only had a good hour to go from the border to reaching Odessa.
Halfway there, we had to pull over because I had to vomit – very violently like I could not remember doing like this before.
I ended up spending 4 out of 6 days in bed, eating rice and potatoes and being a frequent guest of the bathroom.
Since I had not yet awoken to my Spiritual Nature which would afford me to heal and work through my Karma, my karmic past imprints bled through into my current life – as a stark reminder for my past & my duty to remember it all.
When I finally arrived in Chernobyl on October 26 of 2018, I felt an immense relief as well as spiritual activations like I could never have imagined until this point.
I was very proud to learn that all those preventing the possible, even probable further meltdowns of the other Chernobyl NPP reactors as well as those who took care of clearing up the mess were considered national heroes in Ukraine – even Heroes of the Soviet Union – at the time.
It gave me a sense of purpose.
An impression that my sacrifice had not been in vain.
That it even served as an inspiration.
I had now re-integrated my immediate past life with its heavy karmic past. Together with remembering my darkest incarnation on Earth, this provided me with the best opportunity for spiritual growth and propelled me forward very quickly. So quickly that I would soon learn how my way of ascending was unprecedented, reminding me of what I truly came here to do.