September 17, 2018 – The Day I discovered my Sacred Masculinity

During my 2nd Retreat (called ‘Deep Immersion’) that lasted almost a week and offered more medicine options, I felt that San Pedro would bring me the experience I needed for my next breakthrough. In fact, it was that Offering specifically that made me say Yes upon initial Resistance.

The 2 Nights of Ayahuasca before were very eye-opening for me regarding my first 2 experiences in August.

A lot of Darkness and Black Magic was practiced and I simply got to witness it happening, without interfering or needing to do anything about it. I simply was there to be a spectator and learn from what I witnessed.

During the 2nd Night, I connected with my first Twin Flame. Feeling an intense bond with her unlike anything else until this point, I could only describe it as a cosmic relationship. It was evidently the response to my request to the Universe 5 weeks prior: I want to meet a Spiritual Woman and have her as my partner. 

While on my San Pedro Journey, I had to face my own deepest Fears & Demons that I did not even know I had.

When we returned from the fields because of an incoming Thunderstorm, I found myself in the same room with the Shaman back at the Retreat Center.

Even though it physically seemed impossible for him to be there now considering that he just went back to get the others, him and I were the only ones in the living room.

As I got wet in the storm, he told me to wear the jacket of a girl attending the Retreat who clearly had a lot of Witch Energy.

The moment I put on the jacket, all I could see was Dark Spells, Black Magic and Evil.

Like a scene from Hänsel & Gretel – but a whole lot worse.

I got rid of the jacket which felt like a snake trying to constrict me, getting tighter and tighter.

I started walking away, barefoot and shirtless, to find a big group of the Retreat Participants returning and walking towards the Shaman. He looked like a male version of the Witch in the Gingerbread house, smiling and beckoning his prey to join him. They looked hypnotized and all under a spell. I tried to warn them but they could not hear me.

After leaving the property and walking down the road, I felt a draw towards a particular dirt road that I followed, walking down and away from the asphalt road I found myself on.

Next thing I know, I find myself on top of a hill where my inner struggle was laid bare open:

I got rid of all my clothes, ripping apart the bracelet that my 1st long-term girlfriend gave to me many years before (I just found it and started wearing it a couple months before).

I realized that it had a dark spell on it, binding me to her and this false idea of feminine Love. Even back when she gave it to me, I could not unlock it once it was closed around my wrist – I always needed either her help or the help of my mother to open it. So I finally broke that spell by destroying it with sheer force and power of will.

Standing there naked in my very own Dimension, all by myself, I then spent at least 5h straight battling the Darkness in a scenario of Cosmic Warfare.

I felt myself being torn apart like both halves of my Brain were in direct opposition to each other.

I was trying to defeat Evil, fighting it with all I had. The more I fought, the more I felt my entire Being ripped apart.

In infinite suffering, I kept on fighting, knowing that I cannot let Evil defeat me, no matter how much I would have to suffer.

At first, it seemed like I was winning.

I saw the shaman coming in as an adversary, trying to convince me of “there is nothing bad to see here”. I fought him to the Death, then took on more.

I saw myself as a cosmic being, as large as an entire Galaxy, wanting to end all Evil in the Cosmos. So I kept on fighting…

By the end of it, I was down on my knees, realizing that I cannot go on.

I knew I was about to die – since I had nothing left in me to fight, I welcomed it and just gave into it.

Conscious Reincarnation

I surrendered to Pure White Light, merging into Nothingness and becoming Nothing.

I felt the Light taking over and myself being born again in its Purity.

Then, I started existing again.

I open my eyes and I find myself on my knees.

In my body.

I knew I had just died.

Yet I found myself living and breathing again.

Collecting my clothes, seeing that the sun had just set, I started wandering around.

I felt extreme hunger and it being September in Spain, there were many fruit trees bearing fruits such as figs.

When I looked at it, I felt an extreme sense of guilt: Like Adam & Eve, if I were to give in to my desire of eating the forbidden fruit, I would have to bear the consequences – for myself and potentially all of humanity.

So I kept on walking, feeling weak and confused, wondering why I deserved to be alive after realizing all that Evil within myself.

Walking on a road, I saw something looking like a car coming onto me. I walked to the side, only to have a car without a driver pass through the right side of my body.

At this point, I started realizing that I must be traversing a different Dimension, parallel to physicality.

While I could recognize a few traits of the island of Mallorca, seeing cars looking like space ships jump through energy portals made it clear to me that I must be on a higher-dimensional, less dense version of Mallorca.

While walking the road in Twilight, I could see the energetic outlines of human corpses.

It looked like a higher-dimensional battlefield – after the battle.

I kept on walking. Directly thereafter, I saw a Light in the Distance. I wanted nothing more than to be with that Light. I kept chasing it while it kept avoiding my grasp. Appearing and reappearing.

When I grew a bit hopeless, facing the Darkness of the Night, I started noticing UFOs in the night sky.
They communicated with one another through Frequency – Vibrations in the Air that I could perceive and feel. Yet I couldn’t understand what they were saying, all I knew was that these are very benevolent beings. This was my first conscious experience with Telepathy & “Aliens”.

I kept on walking and found a shed. It was destroyed – I was very tired and was thinking of staying there, like giving up.

But my inner voice strongly advised me to keep on walking. So I did, finding myself on another road now.

Another car came and did not see nor acknowledge me.

I grew hopeless again, this time looking up to the perfect half-moon, shining bright above me.

I asked it, its Light specifically, for Help. I communicated to the “Aliens” that I want to learn from them, be their student.

I walked up the road as I was told. An energetic being looking like a Jaguar stared at me. I threatened after I felt threatened, then it disappeared.

Another car was coming – this time it acknowledged me.

Finally, after all this Fear that I may be stuck in an inter-dimensional Prison or Space Station, not belonging, I had once more confirmation that my environment acknowledged my existence.

I turned around, walking all the way back.

I noticed a road sign with peculiar marks on it – geometric figures.

I could see that it was a Portal – so I walked through it.

Shortly after, I saw something further down the road. It looked tall and slender, with several arms, looking towards me in curiosity.

I asked it for help, pleaded with it to end my journey of lost wandering around.

It disappeared in a flash of light, leaving me thinking that I won’t receive any help.

Then, a car started moving in my direction – and for the first time, I could see Humans. Or rather hear them as I recognized the Spanish words spoken.

After a confusing get-together with these young and old Spaniards in which I had to remember my human languages and even name to make any sense of anything.
Talking to a police lady in English, I quickly found myself getting picked up by the Retreat Host.

When I arrived at the Retreat Center, I saw the clock at exactly 00:00.

That was the End of that trip – which I now had to start making sense of.

What I knew for sure, without a single doubt in my mind: I finally broke out of the Matrix. Out of the Reality that I knew imprisoned me before. And the Key to it all lies in my Heart

My aspirations of being like Neo in the Matrix have been fulfilled – and then some.

I had consciously died completely – to reincarnate on the spot.