September 17, 2018 – The Day I discovered my Sacred Masculinity
During my 2nd Retreat, this time ‘Deep Immersion’, longer and more medicine options, I felt that San Pedro would bring me the experience I needed for my next breakthrough.
The 2 Nights of Ayahuasca before were very eye-opening for me regarding my first 2 experiences in August.
A lot of Darkness and Black Magic was practiced and I simply got to witness it happening, without interfering or needing to do anything about it. I simply was there to be a spectator and learn from what I witnessed.
During the 2nd Night, I also connected with my first Twin Flame, feeling an intense bond with her, a powerful draw. I could only describe it as a cosmic relationship.
While on my San Pedro Journey, I had to face my own deepest Fears & Demons that I did not even know I had.
When we returned from the fields because of an incoming Thunderstorm, I found myself in the same room with the Shaman, even though it physically seemed impossible from where we just came from.
The moment I engaged with him, all I could see was Dark Spells and Evil Intentions.
Like a scene from Hänsel & Gretel, but a whole lot worse.
I ran away, barefoot and shirtless, to find myself on top of a hill where my inner struggle was laid bare open to myself:
I got rid of all my clothes, ripping apart the bracelet that my 1st long-term girlfriend gave to me many years before (I just found it and started wearing it a couple months before).
I realized that it had a dark spell of “clinginess” on it, so I broke that spell by destroying it.
Then spent at least 4h straight battling the Darkness in a scenario of Cosmic Warfare.
Standing there naked, trying to defeat Evil, I felt my Brain-Mind being torn apart.
In infinite suffering, I kept on fighting, knowing that I cannot let Evil defeat me, no matter how much I would have to suffer.
At first it seemed like I was winning.
I saw the shaman coming in as an adversary, trying to convince me of “there is nothing bad to see here”. I fought him to the Death, then took on more.
I wanted to end all Evil in the Cosmos, so I kept on fighting…
By the end of it, I was down on my knees and gave up the fight, realizing that I cannot go on.
I knew I was about to die – not even being afraid of it at this point, I just gave into it.
Reincarnated
I surrendered to Pure White Light, merging into Nothingness and becoming Nothing.
Then, I started existing again.
I open my eyes and I find myself on my knees.
In my body.
I knew I had just died.
Yet I found myself living and breathing again.
Collecting my clothes, seeing that the sun had just set, I started wandering around.
I felt extreme hunger and it being September in Spain, there were many fruit trees bearing fruits such as figs.
When I looked at it, I felt an extreme sense of guilt: Like Adam & Eve, if I were to give in to my desire of eating the forbidden fruit, I would have to bear the consequences – for myself and potentially all of humanity.
So I kept on walking, feeling weak and confused, wondering why I deserved to be alive after realizing all that Evil within myself.
Walking on a road, I saw something looking like a car coming onto me. I walked to the side, only to have a car without a driver pass through the right side of my body.
At this point, I started realizing that I must be traversing a different Dimension, parallel to physicality.
While I could recognize a few traits of the island of Mallorca, seeing cars looking like space ships jump through energy portals made it clear to me that I must be on a higher-dimensional, less dense version of Mallorca.
While walking the road in Twilight, I could see the energetic outlines of human corpses.
It looked like a higher-dimensional battlefield – after the battle.
I kept on walking. Directly thereafter, I saw a Light in the Distance. I wanted nothing more than to be with that Light. I kept chasing it while it kept avoiding my grasp. Appearing and reappearing.
When I grew a bit hopeless, facing the Darkness of the Night, I started noticing UFOs in the night sky.
They communicated with one another through Frequency – Vibrations in the Air that I could perceive and feel. Yet I couldn’t understand what they were saying, all I knew was that these are very benevolent beings. This was my first conscious experience with Telepathy & “Aliens”.
I kept on walking and found a shed. It was destroyed – I was very tired and was thinking of staying there, like giving up.
But my inner voice strongly advised me to keep on walking. So I did, finding myself on another road now.
Another car came and did not see nor acknowledge me.
I grew hopeless again, this time looking up to the perfect half-moon, shining bright above me.
I asked it, its Light specifically, for Help. I communicated to the “Aliens” that I want to learn from them, be their student.
I walked up the road as I was told. An energetic being looking like a Jaguar stared at me. I threatened after I felt threatened, then it disappeared.
Another car was coming – this time it acknowledged me.
Finally, after all this Fear that I may be stuck in an inter-dimensional Prison or Space Station, not belonging, I had once more confirmation that my environment acknowledged my existence.
I turned around, walking all the way back.
I noticed a road sign with peculiar marks on it – geometric figures.
I could see that it was a Portal – so I walked through it.
Shortly after, I saw something further down the road. It looked tall and slender, with several arms, looking towards me in curiosity.
I asked it for help, pleaded with it to end my journey of lost wandering around.
It disappeared in a flash of light, leaving me thinking that I won’t receive any help.
Then, a car started moving in my direction – and for the first time, I could see Humans. Or rather hear them as I recognized the Spanish words spoken.
After a confusing get-together with these young and old Spaniards in which I had to remember my human languages and even name to make any sense of anything.
Talking to a police lady in English, I quickly found myself getting picked up by the Retreat Host.
When I arrived at the Retreat Center, I saw the clock at exactly 00:00.
That was the End of that trip – which I now had to start making sense of.
What I knew for sure, without a single doubt in my mind: I finally broke out of the Matrix. Out of the Reality that I knew imprisoned me before. And the Key to it all lies in my Heart
My aspirations of being like Neo in the Matrix have been fulfilled – and then some.
I had consciously died completely – to reincarnate on the spot.
Everything would change extremely quickly from here on…