My Story

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In October of 1992, I was born into a German family as the youngest of three sons. My given name was Dominik.

From the outside, my life looked ideal.

Thanks to my father's ambition and successful career and my mother's willingness to be the homemaker, we lived very well. Until the mid 2000s, we were in the top 3% of earners in Germany. BMWs, great food, all sorts of toys, multiple holidays a year, and a sense of material security that never gave anyone reason to worry.

And yet, from the very beginning, something felt off.

Early Awareness

My mind became active very early on.

I was curious, creative, and independent in ways that were not taught to me.
At the age of five, I sat at my father’s old typewriter and wrote a weather report for my mother — without ever having been taught how to read or write.

Looking back, I can see that certain abilities were already present.

At the time, I had no framework for any of it.

I was simply experiencing life — like everyone else — without understanding what I was or why I was here.

The First Break

Shortly after I started Kindergarten, I experienced abuse by a female teacher — something that deeply impacted how I related to Women from that point forward.

At the same time, my relationship with my mother was marked by emotional distance, rooted in her own unresolved past.

Together, these experiences created something within me very early on:

Not just mistrust — but a deep Fear of Women.

That Fear would stay with me for many years.

Feeling Different

In 1999, we moved across Germany.

Around that time, as I entered school, I became aware of something I could not explain:

I felt different.

And others felt it too.

Very quickly, I became a target for bullying and exclusion.

I was constantly alienated.

At that age, I did not understand why.
I only knew how it felt.

And instead of breaking me, it built something within me:

Strength.

I made a decision early on — I would not respond with violence.

No matter what I experienced, I would find another way.

Searching for Love

By the time I was around eleven, one thing had become clear:

I did not fit in.

And because I did not understand why, I began searching for Love in the only way I knew how:

Through others.

Especially Women.

I looked for validation, affection, and connection externally — believing that something outside of me could fill what I felt was missing within.

But it never did.

The Breaking Point (Age 14)

At fourteen, everything came together.

After my first romantic and sexual experiences, I came to a realization that cut deeply:

I did not like mySelf.

Combined with a materially comfortable but emotionally unstable environment, that realization pushed me to a point where I wanted to end my life.

I stood there, in the middle of the night, with a knife in my hand and a farewell letter written.

And then — something stopped me.

Not a thought.
Not fear.

Something deeper.

I could not go through with it.

But something within me ended that night.

Withdrawal & Observation

After that, I changed.

I withdrew — not from life physically, but internally.

I stopped trying to belong and began observing.

School became something I endured rather than participated in.
I saw no meaning in it.

So I turned elsewhere.

The internet became my teacher.

I taught mySelf English, studied history, politics, philosophy — searching for answers no one around me could give.

Night after night, I stayed up learning, only to return to school exhausted, disconnected, and uninterested.

Conflict with the System

Changing schools didn’t change anything.

The environment shifted — but my experience remained the same.

I began to see the system as something I could not align with.

Not because I lacked ability — but because I could not find truth or purpose within it.

Coping & Escape

Instead of breaking out, I adapted.

I became more social.
I drank.
I partied.

At the same time, life became heavier.

Illness in my family.
Loss.
Trauma.

And I found mySelf in an abusive relationship that reflected exactly how I felt within.

I did not Love mySelf.

And my life mirrored that.

Knowing I Cannot Live Like This

After finishing school, one truth became clear:

I could not live a normal life.

Watching my father and brother in their careers confirmed it.

I would not function in that system.

Still, instead of breaking free completely, I hesitated.

I went to university.

Not out of belief — but to delay a decision. I felt like I had to buy myself more time and "figure it out."

Due to the emotional stress and upheaval I experienced at home (specifically due to my father's 5 years of cancer), I felt more disoriented upon finishing school than ever.

Now what?

2014 — Death & Responsibility

In September 2014, my father died after years of illness.

His death hit me deeply.

But it also forced clarity:

I was now responsible for myself. Fully.

It also changed my sense of obligation towards my education and uprooted me in a way that would allow me to soon see my path ahead clearly.

The Moment of Truth (2015)

In January 2015, on a cold day in Berlin, I stepped outside to get groceries.

And it hit me:

I hated my life. Not parts of it. All of it.

I was not doing anything fulfilling, nothing that would actually use and enable my abilities. Instead, I was doing that which was blocking them, and therefore me.

I knew that if I didn’t change immediately, nothing ever would.

The Decision — Leaving Everything Behind

I went online, searching for the solution to a quiet inner knowing I have had ever since I was 13: Learn English to a C1 level, start your own (online) business and become an international citizen.

I had succeeded in learning English to that level, yet the other two left unchecked.

Now, it was time to finally fulfill the whole calling.

On a Self-improvement blog (boldanddetermined.com — deleted in 2020), I learned of Chiang Mai, Thailand, being a hub for digital nomads — the exact thing I aspired to be.

A few days later, I went on an entrepreneurial forum (thefastlaneforum.com), learning of Amazon FBA (Fulfillment by Amazon) as a business model — by physical goods, private-label them and sell/fulfill them via the Amazon platform.

It was now April and with those two dots connected, I now made my decision to leave Berlin/Germany behind for good, sell everything I could, save up some more money and start a new life in South East Asia before my 23^rd birthday in October.

In the morning of October 9, 2015, I arrived in Chiang Mai.

With 10,000 Euros in the bank and my suitcase (that didn’t make it on the first try) in hand, I had now arrived at the threshold of my new life. I was as terrified as I was excited. I was only certain of this: I either made the greatest mistake or the best choice of my life so far. Within 2 weeks, I knew it was the latter.

And from here on, I never looked back.

Awakening & Transformation

(2017 – 2020)

My Awakening began in late 2017 — not as a sudden realization, but as a series of events that rapidly dissolved the life I had known.

What started as a subtle inner pull became an unstoppable process.

Between 2018 and 2020, this process intensified beyond anything I could have imagined.

Through direct experience — including deep inner work and powerful ceremonies such as Ayahuasca — I was forced to confront mySelf completely.

What unfolded was not gradual.

It was exponential.

Within a relatively short period of time, my perception of reality, consciousness, and identity transformed entirely.

This was not a path of comfort.

It was a path of death, rebirth, and total reorientation.